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[17 Mar 2006|08:35am] |
so as most of you know i have a boyfriend. he's a crazy black man! yes i said BLACK MAN! he's black and he is a man not a teenage boy. he's 30 years old. we've been dating now for like a month. its fun i guess. i dont do well in relationships, so i guess thats why i am taking this one so slow. its weird because my mom i s so okay with it all.
on a different note. air bands is tonight and jenna and i are going to be there so ya'll should go.its going to be tight!
so i hope you all have a great weekend and i hope that it is safe!!!!!!
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[06 Dec 2005|09:31am] |
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so i fell in the shower brused my arm and hurt my sholder. it was really sad but funny at the same time! i had to dance at mira coasta this whole weekend and it was fun because i feel like i really got to know the other girls better. we went shopping and we had awesome talks and i really got to open up with most of them in a way that i have never been able to with my friends from other places. like we talked about this that really happen to each of us and we didnt care about what other thought because we have all done it. and it just made me feel so much better to be able to talk about it with people who know what the i am talking about and arent affraid to talk about it. its kind of sad that i feel like i can only open up to people who dont go to church and who arent my closest friends. but i guess its a good thing too because i am becoming closer friends with them and i like being around them!!!!! they are so sweet and i love them so much. i have hanging out with bree and heather too they are so much fun! i love ya girls!!!!!!!
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[28 Nov 2005|08:24am] |
i am so lost. i cried last night because i missed you so much. i cant take this anymore, i hate not being able to talk to you the way we used to. i miss the way you held me and the way you showed me you cared. i cant stand the way everyone is still talking about it and how we dont talk about it. i wish i could tell you how i really feel but i just feel like there is no use. saturday was by far the worst night of my life because i saw you and amber just made it weird. yeah she's moving but why does she always try and get in the middle. i am trying so hard to get over you, but it's just to hard. i think about you and whenever i am not thinking about you someone will do or say something that always reminds me of you. i have no idea how you feel and you say that you want to start over but every time i try you just get mad. whats the deal??????? you said we would talk about it when i get back from 6 flags and i am back and we still havent talked. i dont know what the heck to do to try and get you to understand. i care so much about and it never change after all that crap.
everyone said that the only reason you wanted to go out with me was because you wanted to have sex with me. i know that it wasnt the reason because of all the times we talked about it. you know i stand strong on the fact that i will NOT have sex with anyone until i am married to that man.
amber tells me all the time to get over you even when i am not thinking about you, and that makes me think about you. if i am not talking she assumes that i am thinking about you. i hate it, because it always makes me think of you. yeah it bugs the fuck out of me that you and her talk all the time. i hate just because she says that you talk about me but she wont tell me what you say. if you want to talk about why wont you just tell me. you told me to tell you how i feel and i did, why the heck are you shutting urself out from this? i dont know any other why to tell you this i miss you and i really just want to talk to you more then anything! i dont know how you feel but i know when i see you, you dont look mad or happy. it looks to me like you feel the same way and you are just to scared to really tell me how you feel.
Timmy your like no guy i have ever met before and i thats one think i love about you! i really wish it could be back to the way it was. i am sorry!
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