what's going on in the back yard

hotbowler13 @ 2006-03-17T08:35:00

2006-03-17T16:49:03Z

so as most of you know i have a boyfriend. he's a crazy black man! yes i said BLACK MAN! he's black and he is a man not a teenage boy. he's 30 years old. we've been dating now for like a month. its fun i guess. i dont do well in relationships, so i guess thats why i am taking this one so slow. its weird because my mom i s so okay with it all.

on a different note. air bands is tonight and jenna and i are going to be there so ya'll should go.its going to be tight!

so i hope you all have a great weekend and i hope that it is safe!!!!!!

hotbowler13 @ 2005-12-06T09:31:00

2005-12-06T17:36:23Z

so i fell in the shower brused my arm and hurt my sholder. it was really sad but funny at the same time! i had to dance at mira coasta this whole weekend and it was fun because i feel like i really got to know the other girls better. we went shopping and we had awesome talks and i really got to open up with most of them in a way that i have never been able to with my friends from other places. like we talked about this that really happen to each of us and we didnt care about what other thought because we have all done it. and it just made me feel so much better to be able to talk about it with people who know what the i am talking about and arent affraid to talk about it. its kind of sad that i feel like i can only open up to people who dont go to church and who arent my closest friends. but i guess its a good thing too because i am becoming closer friends with them and i like being around them!!!!! they are so sweet and i love them so much. i have hanging out with bree and heather too they are so much fun! i love ya girls!!!!!!!

hotbowler13 @ 2005-11-28T08:24:00

2005-11-28T16:54:58Z

i am so lost. i cried last night because i missed you so much. i cant take this anymore, i hate not being able to talk to you the way we used to. i miss the way you held me and the way you showed me you cared. i cant stand the way everyone is still talking about it and how we dont talk about it. i wish i could tell you how i really feel but i just feel like there is no use. saturday was by far the worst night of my life because i saw you and amber just made it weird. yeah she's moving but why does she always try and get in the middle. i am trying so hard to get over you, but it's just to hard. i think about you and whenever i am not thinking about you someone will do or say something that always reminds me of you. i have no idea how you feel and you say that you want to start over but every time i try you just get mad. whats the deal??????? you said we would talk about it when i get back from 6 flags and i am back and we still havent talked. i dont know what the heck to do to try and get you to understand. i care so much about and it never change after all that crap.

everyone said that the only reason you wanted to go out with me was because you wanted to have sex with me. i know that it wasnt the reason because of all the times we talked about it. you know i stand strong on the fact that i will NOT have sex with anyone until i am married to that man.

amber tells me all the time to get over you even when i am not thinking about you, and that makes me think about you. if i am not talking she assumes that i am thinking about you. i hate it, because it always makes me think of you. yeah it bugs the fuck out of me that you and her talk all the time. i hate just because she says that you talk about me but she wont tell me what you say. if you want to talk about why wont you just tell me. you told me to tell you how i feel and i did, why the heck are you shutting urself out from this? i dont know any other why to tell you this i miss you and i really just want to talk to you more then anything! i dont know how you feel but i know when i see you, you dont look mad or happy. it looks to me like you feel the same way and you are just to scared to really tell me how you feel.

Timmy your like no guy i have ever met before and i thats one think i love about you! i really wish it could be back to the way it was. i am sorry!

hotbowler13 @ 2005-11-17T09:24:00

2005-11-17T17:35:48Z

yeah so i told andrew that i liked him last night. ha that was probably the worst thing that i have done in my whole life!!!!!!!! i am scared for sat. when we go to 6 flags. i hope that it is okay.

when i told her it was so weird i just felt like getting in my car and driving for hours. he was kool with my liking him i guess with all the stuff going on in his life it just isnt a good time for a relationship. then i went to the beach and he called me. he thought that the way he said everything was mean, so he called to apologize. it was cute and then we just talked for a bit but it didnt feel normal/right. but then we hung up and i started to cry but i didnt want to go home and i decided to go back to church. then pat was still there and him and i talked for about 20 mins. i need just to talk to someone and i didnt know who to call. i feel so stupid.

i was just happy that andrew is the kind of guy i can see myself with. i mean i was with tim but i knew that i could never have a relationship with him that revolves around christ. i wanted to tell andrew that but i was just so scared that everything i said came out wrong.

i dont know i was so happy until i told him. i just got over the whole tim thing because he was pissing me off, and andrew was always there for me to talk to. i am ganna shut up now but we should all have a fun time at six flags on sat.

hotbowler13 @ 2005-11-11T00:48:00

2005-11-11T08:52:38Z

i'm lost without you,

i miss you and dont know what to do,

stupid things were said and i am sorry,

being up at serra tonight made me think of you and i all the things that we had,

i hate it,

i cant sleep,

cant think,

cant take it anymore,

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED????????????

hotbowler13 @ 2005-10-03T16:47:00

2005-10-03T23:48:01Z

blah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tim is great! amber is mad that i am with him! i think she likes him, well thats what all the guys say. my ex boyfriend still likes me and i dont know what to tell him because a part of me still likes him too i just dont want to go out with him.

tim hates dj with a passion! and i just hope that he gets over it soon.

other than all that i am loving just hgang out with friends and begining with my family! i cant wait for the big party coming up! i think its going to be the bestest one we have ever had!

hotbowler13 @ 2005-10-03T09:41:00

2005-10-03T16:44:09Z

so chula ran away on sat and we couldnt find her :( i was really sad my dad even cried! then we put flyers out and a family found her!!!!!!!!!! when she got home she was so excited and my mom gave her a bowl of ice cream because thats her favorite! everything is good now and i finally got to sleep with out worring about her! thank you for all who helped!

hotbowler13 @ 2005-09-23T08:36:00

2005-09-23T15:39:40Z

sitting in history not doing anything and i just want to sleep but cant because ha i am at school. :( i am so tired because of tim calling me at 4 o'clock in the morning... i could kill him and we fought the whole time on the phone. the only time we weren't fighting was when he tried to make me laugh. no funny at all. of well, its kinda weird because i like him but i dont. so weird i need help! going crazy!

college

2005-09-07T16:35:13Z

okay so i am sitting in history right now and i just got a really cool idea! so my idea is that i should go to college and i should have a good four years doing that! everyone who just left get me excited to leave and go to college too! i cant wait to go looking at colleges on the east coast with my mommy!!!!!!!! party it up!

hotbowler13 @ 2005-08-29T14:25:00

2005-08-29T21:36:28Z

i am so happy summer is over!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant wait to get school over with... i have finally figured out what i want to do with my life, or with my life until i am 30.

hotbowler13 @ 2005-08-24T12:40:00

2005-08-24T19:43:06Z

the life of being fat sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wish i was skinny or Atleast 10 sizes smaller.

coffee bean

2005-08-17T18:09:28Z

so last night was so much fun! danny played at coffee bean and he did so well!

he dedicated a song to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he sang my favorite song that he wrote! i love that kid!

hotbowler13 @ 2005-08-08T17:04:00

2005-08-10T02:33:25Z

so i am sitting here at kinga's house waiting for her to get ready to go. today we hung out and kelly was with us too! we drove all over and then finally we went to the mail! it was fun but i think we were all tired from it. i had a lot of fun and i hope they did too!!!!!!!!!

hotbowler13 @ 2005-08-05T14:05:00

2005-08-05T21:13:55Z

i have had a fun week so far and parts have been bad but i am getting over it.

my new step grandma is so mean to my papa and i hate watching her treat him so bad... i really dont like her anymore!

but i cant wait for next week as i get to go to six flags with mal to celebrate her birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cant wait i will be there with my best friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hotbowler13 @ 2005-07-28T15:31:00

2005-07-28T22:33:13Z

summer lovin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hotbowler13 @ 2005-07-28T10:03:00

2005-07-28T17:25:05Z

so i chilled with mal tim and benny last nightQ! it was so much fun!!!!!!!!!! i dont know what the heck benny was on... he was going crazy!!!!!!!!!!!! it was funny, what a fun kid! but yeah...

i found my new favorite spot in the whole wide world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and there is way i am ganna tell u where it is!

hotbowler13 @ 2005-07-27T12:01:00

2005-07-27T19:03:19Z

I LOVE YOU TOO!!!

hotbowler13 @ 2005-07-26T19:40:00

2005-07-27T02:45:27Z

had a good day just chilled with my neice and then went on a bike ride with kelly and then i just rode around for awhile to clear me head! it was a good day so far!

no i am getting ready to go to the bowling center to prebowl for this weekend:(
i am really sad that i wont get to go bowling...it has become a big part of my life and i dont know what i would do with out it. i love all the people there and i cant wait to see them... i get excited when i can see them becasue they just light up my world! thank you lord for putting the best people in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!

hotbowler13 @ 2005-07-25T11:33:00

2005-07-25T19:10:15Z

so we went bowling last night and had a great time rob tried to beat me...okay maybe he did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but it was fun dj and tommmy and jr and their whole family was there!

so i found out that tommy and my friend nick both like me, and i dont know what to do i like them both as friends and it would just be weird.

i like someone else and i dont know what to do... he makes me laugh when he knows i need too! he is so sweet and i love being around him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hotbowler13 @ 2005-07-21T22:36:00

2005-07-22T05:38:25Z

DJ I HEART YOU SO MUCH AND I AM GLAD THAT WE ARE CLOSE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HUGS AND KISSES FROM ME TO YOU!

hotbowler13 @ 2005-07-19T23:44:00

2005-07-20T06:49:19Z

so i had the best weekend of summer so far!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hung out with the coolest people and thay are all the greastest peps in my life! i love how they are all real with each other and say all the crap that they have with each other out loud and to their face instead of going and hinding behind someone!

even though this girl and i got in a fight i feel really bad for everything i said to her:( so i am ganna call her tomorrow and say i am sorry. i hope that is all goes well.

my x boyfriend and i are doing good now we talked when we were at peir 39! it was fun!!!!!!!!!!! i have a feeling that we might go out again...which hey i dont mind!

even though they kind of brought me away from god this weekend i think that i really found out who i truly am!!!!!!!!!!! i really want to stay this way!!!!!!!

oh well i tell more tomorrow!

hotbowler13 @ 2005-07-12T22:32:00

2005-07-13T06:03:40Z

Sean, Matty, Drew, Andrew, Kinga, Timbo, Me, and Sam! this is us all chillin at LTND, what an awesome week!!!! i would really have to say that this is my favorit picture of all time!!!!! i am not just saying this but it really is! it is taken perfectly. kinga and lisa are into the convo that changed a beautiful woman's life(aka:one of my best friends life)! this is Judy interviewing me and i had no idea what to say...it was kind of scary! i knew rob was the devil but i guess timbo is just proving it! matty, sam, andrew, and i at sitting at the posing starbucks shop at ND! but it was still fun.

my day

2005-07-13T05:30:36Z

so my day was stressful but fun and relaxing! i went to church, then went to bri's house in ocean side, went to the mall, went to wal mart for tp! slept at my aunts house and then took sean to soccer practice. chilled with my papa and then did stations of the cross all be myself at church (i love doing that it is just so peaceful!). then i had a really good talk to patty and then went home and chilled for dinner! my brother came home all happy and we didnt know why... but i had a really bad night last night so i just really needed to talk to him about it and he let me which i was shocked out of my mind! i swear it was the best convo we had every had in our lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i left like he was really wanting to know and hear what i had to say. and he totally respected me for that! which was really awesome to know. so that turned out all good and my mom had told me that i have really grown a lot in the last year and that she really likes the new me. i am not trying to be selfish but i like the new me too. i think i really and starting to look at life and people in a new way. i love how we are all changing and how was all stop talking about each other behind everyones backs... or at least i dont hear about it anymore...i kind of dont really care for the gossip anymore! thats a good thing!!!!!!! i love you and thanks for helping out last week at nd i was really struggling.

hotbowler13 @ 2005-07-11T14:11:00

2005-07-11T21:12:37Z

BOWLING TONIGHT CALL THE CELL IF YOU WANT TO JOIN OR JUST MEET US THERE!!!!!!!!!!!

858 354 8552

hotbowler13 @ 2005-07-01T21:05:00

2005-07-02T04:11:25Z

so i had a fun day at the fair yesterday and i cant wait to leave here and go to notor dame!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate it when people use u, they call u your friend and then the only reason they are ur friend is because u have something... tahts not a true friend!